Thursday, February 24, 2011

wtf is going on?

Here you go, another sign of the apocalypse. People are FREAKING out over little things.

Maybe it's the moon, or the way animals sense danger and adjust their behavior. Maybe the human race, on some level, is innately aware of our impending doom and the behavioral reaction is to kill each other over food.  ...naturally.

WAIT, that makes perfect sense!!! Food sources are one of the most brawled over issues in the animal kingdom. That and mating. So the closer the apocalypse gets, the weirder people will get about sammiches and humping. AH HA.

Well, now that I've solved that one, maybe I'll just go cure cancer.


Here are the news stories to back up my theorem. aka-"scientific research"
ffft, who needs a master's degree.

Man Shot For Eating Popcorn Too Loudly

Shot. For chewing loudly during the end of Black Swan.
Man, if she doesn't win the Oscar, this guy kinda died in vain.   No pressure.






Maple Syrup Throwdown

The most recent in what apparently, happens more often than you think: fist fighting at Denny's.
(Please note how nobody steps in to break up the fight, yet several people move back so they can film it: self preservation! or just the decline of a civilized society.)




Man Shot Over French Fries

Wellll, fries might be worth dying for....I'm undecided on this one.
I mean really, all fresh and salty and crispy.  Oh man.  Fries or death!

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